SearchYour basket is currently empty!
First Chapter – The Shadows We Cast
Nina
Now
Nina is deep in the sofa when the doorbell rings. Hitting pause on her laptop, she stills. It makes her feel like an intruder. An entire day spent in his flat while he’s at work. Is he expecting someone?
When he left this morning, he hadn’t let her get out of bed. Insisted she stayed there, brought tea and her phone. There was breakfast waiting when she finally got up. How long has it been since she slept a whole night without shadowed dreams? Since the first thing she felt on waking wasn’t sharp panic? “Too independent for your own good,” mum always said. Now she has help. Support. Someone on her side.
The bell goes again. If they see the glow of the laptop through the window, they might not go away. She clicks it shut, paused on the opening credits of Queer Eye. It has kept her buoyed up all day. She hasn’t even got dressed yet. There were a pair of scrappy pyjama bottoms lying on the floor next to his bed and she’s still got her hoodie. She was going to head back to her place, get a change of clothes, tidy up, think about what might come next. It felt like too much after everything that happened at the weekend. Better to rest. It’s not like she had anywhere to go on a Monday morning.
It rings again. This time a hand rattles the letter box. Maybe it’s his sister? He said something about her when they were lying in bed chatting last night. Some career type. She’d hardly be banging the door down at 3:30pm if she were like that.
Nina sits up, letting the blanket fall away. There’s a cluster of crumbs where she’s been slumped and snacking. Some of the old anxiety creeps in. Her skin prickles from the cold, away from the safety of the blanket. This time yesterday she was still in the police station. All those questions. What if she let something slip? She was so tired. Maybe they’ve found out what she’s been doing all this time. But how would they know she was here?
She pulls her feet up underneath her. Unless he was in on it too. They were friends, after all. This could all be a ploy, something to get her to relax, confess.
Her name this time, shouted through the letterbox. She sags with relief. Teachers are slackers, everyone knows that. He must have come home early and forgotten his keys. Shaking her head to dislodge the paranoia, she walks down the hall. A ruffle of her hair is all she has time for – he’s seen her in worse states.
‘Did you get out early?’ She sweeps the door wide. Too late, she realises the wrong face is waiting on the other side.
The sight of him is physical. Nina steps back, the last bit of Hobnob bouncing up her throat.
‘He’s not here.’ She shields herself with the door.
‘I know.’ That face. So much of her energy absorbed by this man. ‘I want to talk to you.’
‘Go away.’ She tries to sound forceful.
‘The things you’ve said about me. It has to stop.’ He steps closer. She remembers ginger beer, rum, his mouth.
‘Leave me alone.’ She pushes the door. It hits against something soft – his foot, wedging it open.
‘You still think I did it, don’t you?’ His face is so close. She looks around the unfamiliar hallway. There must be keys, something she can use as a weapon.
‘If you don’t leave, I’ll call the police.’ She makes the words loud. Maybe a neighbour will hear.
‘Because that worked so well before, didn’t it?’ So self-satisfied.
‘He’ll be home soon,’ she says. Horrible to admit she needs help.
‘Oh yes, I can just see him putting me in my place.’ He shakes his head.
‘You’re a bully.’ If she can’t shut him out she can tell him what she thinks. No violence this time.
‘People think I’m a monster.’ He almost looks convincing. If you don’t know what he’s done.
‘It’s what you deserve.’
His head tips, gaze travelling down her body.
‘I just don’t see the appeal. Smart woman like you.’ What a prick.
‘He’s kind.’ That’s what she needs. Someone to help her out of this mess.
‘Perhaps you deserve each other.’ He moves his foot. Now’s her chance. ‘If you can stomach being with someone like that.’ Something like disgust in his voice.
‘What do you mean?’ Her hand is on the door, ready to shut it in his face.
‘Appearances. Not what they seem, all that crap.’ He shrugs.
‘We’re not all shallow like you.’ She leans forward, her voice a whisper. ‘You will pay for what you did to me.’ She hisses the last word out between a chink of the closing door. He’s too fast. The door lurches out of her hand, bangs against the wall.
‘Now listen here-’ He steps forward, grabbing her wrist.
She needs to fight back. Kick him, run away, anything. But it comes back. That awful paralysis. Like that night, five weeks ago, when she cowered in the dark, waiting for it to be over.
‘Leave me alone.’ It comes out as a pathetic whisper.
‘I’ve had enough of this.’ He barges in, slamming the door behind him. Pushes her up against the wall. ‘We’re going to sort this out.’ Trapped between his hands, she’s taken back to the rumpled bed of a stranger, her throat closing in panic.
The Shadows We Cast – Sarah Tinsley
Price range: £3.99 through £10.99